Hey there people. I've been preetty busy these few days.
There was just something on my mind right now. It's been such a taxing subject for me. I keep thinking of it everywhere I go, and it comes back whenever I daze off into empty space or whenever I don't have anything to occupy my mind with. It's the training and the fat gaining thing again. Yupps. It's just killing me slowly with every minute.
I don't think other people understand how it feels to want to train and run and hurdle but... I just can't. It really does hurt like mad. I don't say it because I naturally don't like to bother people and make them worry. I've grown up with parents who taught me to be independent and when I fall, I never got picked up by them. They wanted me to stand up for myself. I never had people who showed any attention when I was in pain, and yes, I do feel weird when I am shown that much attention. Probably why I find it intolerable when other whine about their injury. I just stop to wonder if it were ever actually the worse than the pain that I've felt. Maybe, and maybe not.
Every time I bath I see these extra lumps that were never there a few months back, those lines that were there have been filled with (3glycerols and 1fatty acid)
molecule X a thousand million. My butt has gone all flat and soft, my thighs have no definition, my stomach is bulging and I have absolutely no idea what to do. Probably have to start bingeing and stuff. Hais. Nahh I won't do that. That's just sick. I'll get bulemia and stuff.
Ahh. Bern just helped me with my "short moment of depression". I feel
much better now. :) today was so wonderful. Just going shopping was wonderful. :) this week I got 4boxes of contact lens, non coloured, a vest for 15bucks at cotton on, a pair of jeans,and
3 t-shirts from mango.so wonderful!! Shopping can cure anything! Ahhh. Hoping to get some Nixon stuff too. Gotto wait for daddy to get back to check out the latest arrivals :) awesommee! People I can get discount for Nixon stuff okay! So ask me abt it! :)
I m gonna sleep now cos I gotta wake up at 7am! Going to the zoo in the morning. :) wonderful althought I m not sure why they must make it so damn early. Tsk. Sickening. Hais. Love y'all anyway! Ciaos!
Noreen!
♥our lips must always be sealed
1:19:00 am